李俊弘 James Lee 實習諮商心理師
“Jack never planned on being this successful, but his work ethic really paid off. Saved nearly every penny that he made. Worked hard to achieve his goals. From nothing, he became a self-made millionaire. His story is a testament to the power of determination and hard work, yet his children will never truly understand what he had to sacrifice to get the family to where they are today.”
#First Generation Makes It
You started with nothing. Built your family’s name with your own bare hands. You’ve worked tirelessly for decades to obtain everything that this family has. You’ve given them everything, yet you feel so distant from everybody. Your relationship with your partner no longer has any spark, and the children you’ve sacrificed infinitely for barely know you.
They don’t understand that the life that they are currently living is a result of persevering through the struggles you have faced, overcoming the obstacles that have been thrown at you, and living diligently by a code you hold so dear. All you want is for your children to listen to you so that they too will succeed like you have without having to take unnecessary steps.
#Connect With Family
How can you connect with your family? How can you get them to listen to you? You would expect that the people you consider closest to you should understand you, yet it feels like again and again, you’re let down and left with even more distance every time your interact with them.
What can you do about all that?
It may come as a surprise, but the answer begins with you.
1) Scheduling quality time: make time specifically to spend time with your family and schedule it into your calendar. By designating time to spend with family, you demonstrate your care and value for the relationship you have with them.
2) Listen actively: when you are spending time with family, make sure to actively listen to them. Put away distractions like phones and really engage with that they are saying. One very important pattern to note and avoid when listening is to observe if you are offering ‘advice’ or ‘direction’ when listening.
3) Express your feelings: if you feel distant from your family, be honest with them and express how you are feeling. This can open up communication and help you work through issues that may have previously been swept under the rug.
Making a connection with your family may seem like a daunting task, and you might not know where to start. It's common to feel lost and defeated when you yearn for that connection but can't seem to find it. Seeking counseling can give you the opportunity to address these issues and work towards building stronger and happier relationships with your family. You are not alone in this, and I am here to support you every step of the way. So, if you're ready, let's work together to make this happen.
白手起家的你，歷經千辛萬苦才有今天的成就。扛下了多少責任、吞下了多少苦，才把這個家撐起來。在外的勞累、內心的辛酸又有誰知。做了那麼多都是為了下一代。不想孩子走偏、走歪，所以想盡辦法為他們鋪路，但偏偏下一代卻不想走你鋪好的路。一直以為只要給孩子最好的，他們就會懂。一直以為自己知道甚麼是最適合孩子的，但好像怎麼樣都走不進他們的世界。或許你需要的是換個角度，讓你真正的看見孩子的需要。
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